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Monday, August 27, 2012

The Truth About Picking-Up Girls And What You Can Do About It

For sure, most guys out there really want to know the most successful tactic for approaching and "picking up" women.

I'm sure that most have read almost every article there is scattering around the Internet and bookstores just to be able to learn that tactic to successfully woe women into going out.

But really, there is no single tactic proven to have successfully "pick up" women (notice the use of quotation marks). The most popular of these tactics are the scripted pick-up lines, opinion openers and cocky funny lines. What is wrong is that men are so focused in learning the tactics and not the overall strategy.

The Truth About Picking-Up Girls And What You Can Do About It

The truth is tactics has only short term effects as opposed to strategy. Men only ever want to learn about the right words but to tell the truth, there are no strings of words that will make her fall for your scripted tactics automatically.

Men are more focused in "picking up" women obviously only wanting to either lay her on bed or score points over other men.

The point is that men shouldn't think of approaching women as picking them up. It defeats the whole point of dating and getting to know each other if you are only interested in only one thing, more often a not so decent thought (sorry for being honest).

If you seriously like a woman, pick up tactics will only send her a signal that you only intend one thing no matter how good your real intentions were.

Another point is that if you really like a woman, you do not need tactics. What you need is to develop your own unique personality, your unique method of expressing that personality and the courage to become who you want to be. After all, other people won't like you if you don't like yourself.

What you really need to do is to focus on developing your personality, not only to being the kind of guy who women want but, in a deeper sense, to the kind of guy you want to be.

Pick up tactics only ever teach you to act like somebody else. If they are for somebody else, chances are they might not work for us.

Strategy, on the other hand, teaches you to be yourself so you'll discover for yourself how to approach women.

You won't need any tactics anymore to approach women because it will be innate and more genuine. That's the real art of approaching women.

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Sunday, August 26, 2012

The Top 5 Law of Attraction Tips

Using the Law of Attraction in your life does not need to be hard, and it doesn't have to cost a lot. The truth is that there are a large number of things that you can begin to do yourself that will have a positive impact on your life. Here are five of the top Law of Attraction tactics that will enable you to get the best out of your life.

Tip #1 - Positive Attitude - One of the simplest methods that you can improve the quality of your using the Law of Attraction is to always maintain a positive outlook. When you have a positive attitude to life, there is a good chance that it will attract other positive people, effects, and transformations in your life. Even if events in your life do not seem particularly goo, maintaining a positive outlook can be lead to the transformation that you want. In reality, your positive outlook is getting you ready for the time that things improve. Always seeing the best in something, such as a less than perfect job, can enable you to be better placed in life, which leads the way for positive events to occur.

Tip #2 - Visualization - Another essential technique is to make a mental picture. It is vital that you actually picture where you want to be in your life. Picture yourself in a higher job, driving a more expensive car, being healthier financially, and you will then have the ability to draw what you need to enable those pictures to come to fruition. You can never really reach the position that you yearn for unless you have a definite idea of the direction you are taking, and making the effort to continuously keep in mind where you see yourself being can be helpful in discovering where you want to be, as well as helping you to reach your goal.

The Top 5 Law of Attraction Tips

Tip #3 - Affirmations - Often, the word affirmation conjures up images of how other people can confirm your wants and needs, but when it is taken in the perspective of the Law of Attraction, affirmations are really down to you. You have to begin putting down in writing what you want, and then keep saying them to yourself repeatedly. The more often you say them aloud and confirm your dreams, the likelier it is that they will come true.

Tip #4 - Always Keep Your Eye on Your Goal - Maintaining a focus on your ambitions is an essential technique too when you are considering the Law of Attraction. You do not want to be never want to be sidetracked by the situations that happen in your life, and you need to keep your eye on the tings that you want to accomplish. The more focused you are on your ambitions, the greater the likelihood that you will achieve them.

Tip #5 - Move Forward - You can put into place as many plans as you like in your life, but if you do not really get going on anything, they will all amount to nothing. As soon as you begin to have positive thoughts, picture where you would like to be, use affirmations, and keep focused on your ambitions, then you are ready to begin progressing towards your goal. It doesn't matter if you achieve large or small steps, but it is essential that you are always progressing forwards and not just staying in one place.

Every one of these strategies is important, and if you use them together they will undoubtedly have astonishing effects on your life. Begin to use these Law of Attraction techniques and good things will certainly happen.

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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Positive Thinking: 5 Benefits of a Positive Attitude

A person's attitude and way of thinking contribute greatly to their personality. People who think positively have a better outlook on life and an ambitious attitude. These are factors that directly affect your perception when it comes to creating the kind of life you want. Studies show that you perception of life also affects your health and well-being.

Most of our negative thoughts come from assumptions we make. We concoct these misconceptions in an attempt to prepare ourselves for the worse but end up dwelling so much on them that they consume our way of life. This does not mean that a positive person is ill-prepared, in fact they are better equipped to handle challenges then a Negative Nelly.

Positive thinking is not about ignoring the negative and not preparing for the worst, but instead approaching a problem positive and productive manner. For instance, focusing on finding a solution to a problem as oppose to focusing on the negative like how the problem occurred. So don't think altering your attitude will turn you into a naïve person and result in more issues.

Positive Thinking: 5 Benefits of a Positive Attitude

A positive attitude and way of thinking can help you cope with life and improve your overall well-being. Here are five benefits of positive thinking:

1. Improved Focus - Positive thinking helps you concentrate on finding a solution instead of focusing on the negative elements and losing what sometimes is valuable time. Your creative and constructive thinking is enhanced. While a person with a negative attitude would be so distracted that may not even seek a solution.

2. Reduced Stress - When a positive thinker is faced with a stressful situation they handle it better for the same reason as mentioned above, improved focus. When you worry less, you stress less. The power of positive thinking lowers stress levels, helps you cope better and increases your life span.

3. Better Health - The way you think has a direct influence on your body and its functions. Positive thinkers tend to have lower risks of disease, better psychological and physical well-being. If you conquer negative thoughts you'll be less likely to suffer from anxiety, sleeping disorders, etc.

4. Maintain Self Esteem - When you adopt an optimistic outlook you tend to believe in yourself and your abilities. You become comfortable in your own skin and have faith in your potential. This gives you the motivation to achieve your goals.

5. Success and Happiness - Positive thinking has the power to change your whole life and your whole environment. When you have a positive attitude you attract others therefore changing the people around you.

A positive attitude results in success and happiness. Optimistic people choose to be happy and are determined when it comes to their endeavors.

The power of positive thinking is tremendous. As you may notice a few of these items roll into the other. If you alter your attitude to that of a positive one, you will begin to notice productive changes in different aspects of your life.

Positive Thinking: 5 Benefits of a Positive Attitude

Lea Bullen is a personal development and conscious living advocate who started the Leading Edge Advocate, a self improvement community and resource center to help others enhance their well being and live the life they desire. Change your life, become a member of the Leading Edge today, http://www.leadingedgeadvocate.com and receive our Personal Development Report.

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Saturday, August 18, 2012

Positive Attitude Tips - How to Keep Your Attitude Positive in Everyday Life

Positive attitude tips for your happiness and success.

If you ever find yourself down and out with a bad attitude to boot, then you know how hard it can be to pick up the pieces and change them around to have a better outlook on life. This starts with choosing to have the mental mind set that you are not going to let life get you down.

Positive Attitude

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If you need help with your attitude then read on and then apply the positive attitude tips they teach you the power of positive thinking and what it can do to change your life for the better. I put them together for folks just like you because my mission is to inspire and motivate others to have a better, happier life for themselves and their families.

Positive Attitude Tips - How to Keep Your Attitude Positive in Everyday Life

When you feel down and out stop yourself and apply the following attitude tips.

* You want to either call a family member or friend that is upbeat and positive and either talk to them or go spend some time with them. Because we become a product of our environment. If you make it a positive one then it helps to make you positive.

* You can get involved with one of your favorite hobbies. Nothing makes us happier than doing something that we love to do. This is so important to make this a regular part of our lives.

* You can find something funny to read, listen to or watch on television. Laughter is good for the soul because is helps to release our every day stress and strain. If you allow yourself to laugh and have fun then you will soon realize the positive attitude that will follow.

My wish is for you to have a happy prosperous life and if we learn how to control all the elements that give us that then we can become a better and happier person through the power of positive thinking.

Positive Attitude Tips - How to Keep Your Attitude Positive in Everyday Life

If you are not happy with your life then it is up to you to change it.

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Thursday, August 16, 2012

Five Tips on How to Develop Positive Attitude - Attitude is Everything

Perhaps you have heard somebody said this before... "Attitude is everything." It's quite true indeed. Positive attitude is everything. It gives you many benefits in life. It makes you feel more happy, have more positive energy and attract more positive people in your life.

Positive attitude also allows you to put thing in a better perspective. For example, when you're faced with problem, you will tend to look for a solution instead of trying to find faults and blame others. It can also give you a better health as positive energy will lower your stress level.

Positive Attitude

Here are 5 tips on how to develop a positive attitude...

Five Tips on How to Develop Positive Attitude - Attitude is Everything

1. Mind over Matter. There can be many definitions for this term. In this article, I would like to use it to describe "awareness" or "consciousness". I mean being fully aware of your mind patterns. Our mind patterns were developed since childhood. And most of the time, we are controlled by our minds. Therefore, our attitudes are also controlled by our minds.

If you want to develop a positive attitude, start by becoming more aware of your mind patterns. Be an observer of your mind. When you become an observer, you're in control and you'll be able to notice what your mind says (both positive and negative). Therefore, when you notice your mind saying something negative, you can intercept it and replace it with positive thought.

2. Live Life NOW! Learn to live fully in your present moment. Don't cling on your past or wish you could have this or that. Appreciate what you already have NOW. Express gratitude for everything you have now. HERE and NOW are your life! Once you have accepted that, you can become more positive and appreciative of life. You will do and live your best in your present moment. Only then, you can move forward in life with positive attitude.

3. Associate more with positive people. I'm sure you have heard this saying: "Birds of the same feather flock together." If you flock together with negative people, you will become negative. On the other hand, if you associate yourself with more positive people, they can also influence your characters and attitude. You will become more positive as well.

4. Learn to give compliment to others. You don't need to do this excessively. Just do it in a natural way by focusing on the positive side of other people. A few kind words spoken to another person can really make his or her day. Doing so will make you more likable as well.

5. SMILE and say THANK YOU more. Wherever you are and whatever you do, look for opportunity to offer sincere appreciation to your friends, family members, peers, team members, bosses or any other people you interact with everyday. Smiling and saying thank you more often not only can make you feel good but also cause those around you to become more positive.

Develop your positive attitude daily and make it become second nature to you. This will give you more happiness in life.

Five Tips on How to Develop Positive Attitude - Attitude is Everything

Here are more information and tips on positive habits and attitude. You can also find other self improvement articles on various topics at my blog.

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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Improve on Your Customer Service - The 5 Outstanding Qualities of a Service Superstar

Every once in a while we will cross paths with what I refer to as a customer service superstar. They are like diamonds in the rough. We never know when we will be served by one of these superstars. They are dispersed throughout the marketplace and look normal on the outside. But take a closer look and we will soon discover that these people are a breed apart from your average everyday customer service representative.

What is the secret that makes these customer service superstars win us over? What is their key in consistently giving each customer an outstanding service experience? One of the first and foremost secrets in their winning ways is that these superstars make their customers feel valued. These people simply treat each customer as if he or she was the most important person on the planet. Customers walk away feeling as if they were the owner of the organization.

Positive Attitude

Customers soon recognize that these special people are living a life focused on others. This in turn makes each customer walk away feeling that the service was more than simply following a job description in order to receive a paycheck. If customer service superstars were to wear a tee shirt, the caption on the front would simply read, "It's not about me."

Improve on Your Customer Service - The 5 Outstanding Qualities of a Service Superstar

These customer service superstars are the best because they also understand the mindset of the customer. They are sensitive to the needs and feelings of what customers think as they walk through the door. These superstars have a way of understanding the customer and making their experience as enjoyable as possible. By understanding the customer's point of view, they also begin to capture new ways to make the service experience more pleasant. Let's now look at the five qualities that define these customer service superstars:

1. Superstars maintain a positive personality

The secret in offering great service is to stay away from an uninviting attitude. Having a positive attitude is a major key in providing each customer with a great service experience. These will always go together. Customers will want to return simply because of the attraction that a positive attitude creates. These customers will also want to return and tell others because of the positive memory of the service being offered. By being positive, these superstars make their customers feel welcomed and accepted.

Remember that the perception in the customer's mind is what really matters. If a customer feels that their service experience was below average, then it was below average. In reality we are in the customer perception business. This is why it is paramount that we periodically take an attitude check and maintain a positive atmosphere for our customers.

2. The superstars are enthused about serving

The poor service experiences that we remember are typically the result of being served by a person who lacked enthusiasm. This perception that the person was not excited to assist us made the overall experience below average. But our perception takes a complete turn when we feel that the person serving us was enthused during the whole process. It is important to remember that the secret is to show our customers that we want to assist them. One easy way to achieve this is to be enthusiastic about giving them our best service. This important key will instantly make customers walk away feeling that the service was outstanding.

3. The superstars know how to respond quickly

Because we live in a fast-paced society, our customers expect to be given quick and efficient service. Without this efficiency, the customer will more than likely walk away and remember the service as average. The goal should be to show that we respect our customers by simply respecting their time. The perception of the service will then automatically improve as a result of being quick and efficient during each transaction. Customers will then walk away not only feeling respected, but will more than likely rate us higher because of the efficiency of the service provided.

We will always appreciate service where we feel that the person serving us respected our time. The best memories of five-star service will consistently convey efficiency during the transaction. The service representative gave the impression that our time was valuable and swiftly took great care to quickly meet our needs. Remember this little gem and your customers will walk away and remember the service as being outstanding!

4. The superstars strive to be their best

Another feature of customer service superstars is their ability to excel in their chosen profession. They desire to be their best on the job by giving their customers outstanding service. Their work ethic stands out because of the motivation to perform at a higher level. These superstars do not need to be motivated from the outside. Their inspiration is driven from within.

It is a pleasure when I get the rare opportunity of being served by one of these customer service superstars. They always give the impression that they genuinely enjoy serving me. I leave with the impression that they truly enjoy their position. These experiences are a result of a person who simply gave 100% on the job.

5. The superstars are attentive

Comparable to being efficient with our customers, giving them attention also expresses that we care. By simply being attentive, we are telling our customers that they are important and deserve to be treated with respect. The power of giving attention is that it also conveys a certain level of respect. We must also remember that most customers enjoy playing this role because of the anticipated attention that they are hoping to receive.

Teach these five excellent traits into your training and begin to see your service improve instantly. Your team will begin to outshine the competition and your customers will also become your best advertisers simply because of the exceptional service received.

Improve on Your Customer Service - The 5 Outstanding Qualities of a Service Superstar

Cary Cavitt is a professional customer service speaker and has written several books on the topic, including Customer Service Superstars. He is available as a keynote speaker and for onsite seminars throughout the United States. Look for more customer service articles and authored customer service books at http://www.carycavittconsulting.com

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Monday, August 13, 2012

Celebrate Your Life With Gratitude and a Positive Attitude

Gratitude is many things.

Did you know that to celebrate is to experience gratitude? In fact, celebration is intensified gratitude.

Positive Attitude

Did you know that there is a spiritual quality to gratitude? A quality that recognizes we are all connected to each other in a mysterious, miraculous and almost magical way?

Celebrate Your Life With Gratitude and a Positive Attitude

Did you also know that gratitude is much more than the simple act of saying thank you? In fact there is so much empowerment within one who truly understands, appreciates and lives with gratitude that it actually changes their whole outlook on life to one that is incredibly positive, enlightening and happy.

Gratitude is the act of intellectually recognizing, willingly acknowledging and emotionally appreciating such things as the kindness of others, gifts bestowed upon us, or the beauty of a grand, majestic mountain. We have all felt the power of these feelings at one time or another in our lives.

We do not necessarily need to take in the awesome wonderment of the Grand Canyon to experience a feeling of immense peace and calmness; in fact, we can grasp that feeling anytime and anywhere if we train ourselves to think with a gracious attitude. That's truly all it takes. Gratitude is to feel the beauty of life in everything, from the simple things and the small things to the breathtaking beauty of mountainous landscapes and the grandiose accomplishments of human beings. We don't need to look far. It's all around us and most importantly, it's within us.

With all the negative news that is constantly is constantly broadcast in any number of forums (and for sure the more gruesome the headline, the louder it's shouted or displayed!), it's no wonder people become bogged down and often lack the time or energy to express their gratitude, much less think about it. Furthermore, we are surrounded by the, "I want this now!" or; "I needed this yesterday!" kind of demands, both at work and at home. These attitudes, if unchecked, can gradually consume our lives leaving us stressed and tired at the end of each day.

Has it really come to that? No time or energy to appreciate the value of all that is around us? No quality time to spend with our family and friends? No time to appreciate the value of ourselves and to recognize all of the things that we can and do contribute in life? Is there really less to be grateful for? Is there any reason for us not to choose to face each day with a positive attitude?

OF COURSE NOT!

As a mother and as a woman with a very busy career, I will acknowledge that it might appear that way at times. The negative aspects of our world do have an effect on us. Sadly, gratitude, or feelings of graciousness and the simple act of expressing our thanks appear to be pushed aside and even lost in society's drive for more, more and more. We have created and developed amazing new technologies. And yet, many of us have failed to take the time to either acknowledge or appreciate the value of such blessings, or use them in a way that enhances our lives. I find that incredibly ironic.

Understanding the value of gratitude can change your life because it can change how you look at the world. For example, you recognize the things you can and should be grateful for. You learn how to enjoy them. Perhaps most important, you recognize how this leads to a life full of enrichment, value and contribution. Moreover, by continually recognizing and expressing gratitude you will eventually incorporate an attitude of gratitude into your own thought processes and your behavior. Gratitude becomes (and should be!) an inherent trait, something you always do because it feels good to do it! It becomes natural, a part of who you are.

When we live our lives with this kind of awareness we automatically look at our loved ones and ourselves in a positive light. We see the good in our loved ones and within ourselves. By extension we also focus on the positive aspects of all elements that affect our lives; for example, focusing on our assets vs. our debts; our physical abilities vs. our limitations, our happiness vs. our sadness, our strengths vs. our weaknesses - we see more of the positive and less of the negative. We are still aware of the negative but we choose to not direct our energy in that direction; instead, we choose to focus on the positive.

By being aware and then focusing on the positive elements of people, situations or ourselves, we attract more of that positive energy into our lives. People who display positive energy have power! Positive energy subtly encourages others we come in contact with to act in a similar, positive manner. I ask you, are you not more comfortable being around people who like to laugh, enjoy life, radiant positive energy and choose to maintain a positive attitude of gratitude no matter what the situation may be?

Of course!

We all like to be around people who generate that kind of attitude! A positive attitude of gratitude generates positive energy that encourages and motivates us. Take that positive energy and build on it! Improve your life the lives of those around you!

This all begins with our grateful acknowledgment of the world in which we live, the people with whom we share this planet; and of course, acknowledging the importance of our own being. It is that simple. Believe! You are important! We are important! The world is grateful to have us and we are certainly grateful to be a part of it! Be positive and celebrate gratitude!

Celebrate Your Life With Gratitude and a Positive Attitude

Gratitude stones, games and gratitude sticks are just some of the tools that Dr. Stacey Scott makes to help focus our thoughts, feelings and energy on to all the positive aspects of our lives. Dr. Scott's goal is to help you develop a more positive attitude; an attitude that promotes a unique sense of self awareness, self belief, self esteem, self empowerment and of course, self confidence. Her inspirational array of hand crafted products are entertaining and original! In fact, all of Dr. Scott's products make fun and unique, empowering gifts, especially for children!

Dr. Stacey Scott is a Doctor of Chiropractic, has received her fellowship of Sports Injury and Rehabilitation, and is also a certified provider of Active Release Techniques (A.R.T.)

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Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Psychology of Friendship & Success

One of the main reasons that most people do not achieve their ultimate goals and dreams in life is because they are emotionally and psychologically unequipped to handle the loneliness and isolation that is required to evolve to the next level of success. When friends call and beg you to go out to the movies, get a bite to eat, or hang out at your favorite club you will be forced to decide whether or not spending time with them is the best use of your time, given that you have 2 exams and a research paper due within a week. Most of us will make the wrong decision many times before we do what is ultimately best to achieve our goals.

I am going to tell you a secret. When you are in between stages of evolving to your next level of success, this is when you are most likely to be isolated by family and friends. You are psychologically in a cocoon. Listen carefully so that you will understand what is happening to you. There are many habits from your old lifestyle that you must shed before you can move to the next level. For example, if you frequently partied late into the wee hours of the morning, drank too much alcohol, or were involved with too many sexual partners these habits may prevent you from being able to focus on your academic or career goals with the degree of intensity that is required to be successful.

Positive Attitude

Like most people, you will struggle initially with the 'old you' and the 'new you' that is trying to emerge. Instead of declining your friend's invitations to go and hang out, you will say yes, and wake up the next morning thinking to yourself, "Why the hell did I go out last night?" Now the people who are already where you want to be will not find it appealing to befriend you just yet. These people are serious. They are much further along on their journey to success. They are not interested in people or activities that defer them from accomplishing their goals. When you become one of them psychologically, you will find the door of new friendships opening to welcome you in. It's not so much that these people are your friends, per say; it's just that you share the same psyche of interests and experiences and you will be able to relate and discuss issues of importance to each other.

The Psychology of Friendship & Success

These are some points to ponder when you are trying to maintain friendships on the way to achieving your dreams:

1. True friendships never die, they may appear to fade during periods of significant change--but remember this is a necessary transitional stage in order to give you the space that you need to grow. A true friendship will stand the test of time while you are adjusting to your new role in life. Don't let any one's perception of who you should be and how you should act prevent you from making the necessary changes to make your dreams come true.

2. When you reconnect with your old friends, it will never be the same. The friendship will retain the most important roots that will connect you together, such as being able to share your most intimate secrets or playing poker. The love will remain pure, but you will enjoy your time together as well as apart.

3. As women we tell too much of our personal, intimate, private business to other women. We talk about the size and shape of our mate's penis, how often we have sex, every minute detail of our conversations with our lovers, and how much we hate our bodies within a few days of meeting. I know that as a psychologist, female brains are biologically wired to share secrets and gossip, but in order for us to compete in the business arena, we need to learn to separate our personal lives from our professional lives. Maintaining an emotional distance from others will allow us to get along as acquaintances and business associates much better. I can't count the times that I should have not exposed my underbelly when trying to fit in or upon meeting a new acquaintance.

4. Loyalty, honesty, trust and favor take time to develop in any relationship and friendship is no exception to the rule. Don't make the mistake of expecting too much too soon from a friendship. A shared interest in yoga, book club or salsa dancing does not mean that this person should be trusted with a key to your home or know the intimate details of your new romance. When you share personal information with the wrong person, you are giving them ammunition to make achieving your goals more difficult.

5. Be aware of the fact that the interests that make you and your friends--"friends"-- also has the potential to make you and your friend mortal enemies. Friends typically find the same type of guy attractive, enjoy the same taste in clothes and have similar career interests or capabilities. Say for example, you and your friend meet the same great guy at the same time, but he chooses your friend over you. They marry, have babies and live happily ever after in la la land. Can you truly be happy for her? If you are truly happy with your life and who you are, you could be happy for your friend; otherwise you may experience feelings of jealousy and insecurity. If you and your friend both apply for graduate school and your friend is accepted and you are rejected, this will have an impact on your friendship.

6. Friends sometimes unintentionally sabotage your success. Some people believe that if you want to lose weight and develop an exercise routine, it is best to buddy with a friend. I personally think that this is huge mistake. If you begin to lose weight and your friend is not losing weight, she may begin to discourage you from exercising by suggesting other activities. If your friend is not doing well in school, they may use creative ways to distract you from studying. Unfortunately, if your friend is having problems maintaining or attracting a loving relationship, she may do and say negative things to undermine your relationship with your mate.

7. Friends can be uncomfortable in the friendship when roles change; if you evolve from being the ugly, dumb or fat friend your friend may feel awkward. If your friend has always been the one who attracts male attention and all of sudden you become the "pretty one" trust me, this change will have an impact on the friendship. If the friendship is true your friend will adjust and your bond will grow even stronger.

8. Be aware of friends who are envious or jealous of your ambition and success. I have found that most people are not consciously aware of there insecurities or motives to destroy you and ultimately the friendship. But remember on your road to success, you will be unintentionally leaving people behind. As you grow and evolve many people will become insecure with the ties that bind their relationship to you. Your friends do not know their role or where they fit into your new life and in many cases this insecurity will cause them to do and say things that will hurt you, in a twisted effort to save the friendship.

9. Don't be afraid to cut friends and family members loose who can not accept and respect the person that you have now blossomed into. You will find friends from your past who will only want to talk about the good 'ole days, when you were drunk, broke, broken-hearted and down and out. You will know them because they will frequently say, 'remember when...' No matter how much it hurts you must cut people out of your life that refuses to see not just the old you, but the new you. I had an ex-best friend say to me, "Sandy, who do you think you are? You are just a poor black girl from Detroit, with a GED, who thinks she's somebody. I can't wait for you to see that you are nobody special and know your place in life."

10. Your friends, buddies, the people you hang out with or whatever you would like to call them--are the truest reflection of who you are and what you think about yourself. If you surround yourself with people who are untrustworthy this is because you feel you deserve their friendship. You don't choose your family, but you sure as hell select your friends. Most importantly take a deep, soulful look at yourself. Would you want yourself as a friend? Do you tell secrets that your friends ask you not to tell? Do you flirt with your friend's husbands or boyfriends? Deep down inside are you jealous of your friend's success or happiness? You must be a true friend to have a true friend. Know yourself. If you aren't happy and confident with who you are, you will find it very difficult to find true friendship.

11. An honest, loyal, true friend is a person who is happy with themselves, confident and possesses extremely high self-esteem. People who are living their dreams and being true to their calling make the best friends.

12. Lastly, my brother General George always say, (and I agree with him) people always reveal their knife before they stab you in the back with it. Listen and pay close attention to what your friends say and do. If she is betraying another friend, this is an indicator that she will also betray you. It is very rare that we are surprised at someone's behavior.

13. Sometimes the universe, life, or God, (whatever concept that resonates with your spirit) will isolate you from other people in order to allow you to focus on your life's purpose. What may be perceived as jealousy or disagreements are really "spiritual events" that are used to remove social and emotional distractions from your life. In the purest and deepest spiritual sense, it is no one's fault when relationships dissolve. Your friend can no longer accompany you on your journey to success. They are not destined to go where you are going, but it doesn't mean that they were never meant to be a part of your life and who you ultimately become as a person. Always remain positive and wish them well.

The Psychology of Friendship & Success

Dr. Cassandra George Sturges MA, MA, is a mother of two teenagers, a full-time psychology instructor, advice columnists for Today's Black Woman Magazine, Seminar facilitator, author of "A Woman's Soul on Paper" ISBN: 0595171435; The Illusion of Beauty: Why Women Hate Themselves & Envy Other Women; Men Interviewed Tell: 101 Things Women do to Turn Men Off; Success & Beauty is an Attitude: A Woman's Guide to Academic and Life achievement. Dr. Sturges is the author and publisher of Authentik Beauty Magazine. A 1 year subscription to Authentik Beauty Magazine is only .00 for 6 issues; mail request to: Authentik Beauty Newsmag, P.O. Box 980679, Ypsilanti, MI 48197. Caution: Articles and clip art are sensuously and beautifully designed for a mature audience only. We accept cash, checks & all major credit cards. Email: authentikbeauty@yahoo.com, visit my website at [http://www.authentikbeauty.net] - http://authentikbeauty.blogspot.com

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